Michelle's Musings

Five years ago I made a huge resolution--that I would never again make a resolution!  And it has been such a gift, that I want to pass on the idea to all of you.  I grew very tired of focusing on what I wished I had, what I wanted to be and how I hoped to look.   Forget it!  Instead, each New Year's eve I celebrate the gifts the past year has presented to me and I note the ways I have been the person God expects me to be (and what God might be nudging me towards for the new year).  Whew!  I can't tell you what a relief and joy it is to really CELEBRATE New Year's Eve now. 

I learned a valuable lesson about quality time versus quantity time this year.  As I took on a new and challenging role in my ministry, many well-meaning people would pat my shoulder and tell me "how hard it must be to be away from your children".  I appreciated the concern, but to be honest my children get the best of me now.  We don't sit around and watch mindless television or separate ourselves into other rooms.  Now, when I get home, I am engaged with my kids.  Reading stories, doing chores, playing board games (my favorite way to spend time).  We make the moments count. 

I also learned many other valuable lessons this year and celebrated so many cherished moments.  I found the strength to step into a new vocation. I took a sudden detour from that vocation and found a whole new sense of joy and passion in our school community.  I watched an Aunt beat cancer.  I celebrated life as my cousin became a mother to Hope Catherine (thanks to a selfless woman who gave the greatest gift ever).  Just to name of few.  What a great year!

And, lest I lead you to believe that life is all sugar-sweet nauseating happiness for me, I will leave you with a tip from my bestest friend.  For all the other not-so-fun memories and troubles of the year gone by?  Start a new tradition on New Year's eve.  After you hug and kiss and blow the horns...go around the house (or wherever you might be) and FLUSH THE TOILETS!  Send all that bad stuff straight down the drain.  My friend swears it is the best feeling.  So, give it a try! 

Blessings to all for a fantabulous 2009!

It is the final hour and I am sure some people are out in the frantic chaos of the shopping moments that are left.  I am not and I am so glad.  As my mom will say about me...I don't "sit still well".  So, my shopping is done.  But I don't want to talk about those gifts right now.  Yes, I found some pretty cool gifts for my family and friends and I am excited for them to be opened, but I am more excited about some other gifts this Christmas season:

1.  As I write this, my cousin and her husband are in Illinois witnessing the birth of their baby girl.  They have held two other little girls in their arms only to have the birth mothers change their minds and keep their babies.  They have flown home from Arizona and California childless.  In Illinois a birth mother must wait 72 hours to sign off her rights to the adopted parents.  72 hours will be...Christmas day.  If you are the praying kind, could you offer one up for the best Christmas gift for my cousin?  The timing tells me that just as a baby boy found his way to the arms of his parents on Christmas, so will this little baby girl find her way to the arms of my cousin who knows the ache of wanting to be a mother more than just about anyone I have ever met.   

2.  Another cousin sits in Florida this Christmas season with her husband--wanting nothing more than to come home for Christmas.  She is pregnant and has had recent challenges to her pregnancy that prevent her from coming home to us.  The gift of life sometimes has a price to pay...but my dear cousin will soon learn that no price is too high when your love take on flesh and bones.  This Christmas away from us will be a distant memory when little Maddy is born. 

3.  For those who have read other blogs of mine, you know that I was missing baby Jesus.  Well, he is missing no more!  In total, I have received 6 baby Jesus figurines!  I thank all those who surprised me with a Jesus--both friends and strangers!  You may wonder what I did with the Chicago Bears ornament?  It is on our Christmas tree (in the back).  Each time we hang it we will remember the year we "lost Jesus" and then found him again in people who cared enough to reach out to us!

4.  I have not posted pictures yet, but today's blog contains the first one.  And while I hope you will receive a gift that you were hoping for this Christmas, I am sure you will agree that many of the gifts we truly want and wish for are just icing on the cake to the gifts we already have.  My picture shows you my greatest gifts.  I wish you and yours a Blessed Christmas full of happy memories, joyful moments, and hopeful days ahead. 

I have been a very busy mom these past two weeks.  LOTS of night meetings and long drives home have kept me from some of my favorite nighttime moments with my own children.  I am truly looking forward to a long Christmas break with the kids and just spending time together.  Last night I returned after my little guy was in bed.  I dislike those nights most of all--but am thankful that dad is a great "Mr. Mom" whenever the need arises. 

I got home to find two pieces of important paper on the breakfast counter.  A note from the "Desk Fairy" and a midquarter progress report. The desk fairy visited my son at school to tell him how great he is doing at keeping himself organized and on task.  This is HUGE for a little imaginative 7 year old who doesn't look forward to sitting still very often.  The next piece of paper was my daughter's progress report.  She is in 6th grade and has fought with me tooth and nail about the fact that she is not smart enough to be in advanced math.  I reason with her and tell her that her teachers beg to differ, but it remains a struggle in her mind.  The progress report doesn't lie...in the advanced math column was nothing less than an "A+".  I hope this high grade boosts her confidence even higher, because she needs that at her hormone driven, up and down age.  You go girl!  (She would tell me I am pretty out of it with that saying I am sure!)

To all the teachers who take the time to call the "Desk fairy" and to all the teachers who believe in our children enough to tell them they can do anything if they try...I am a thankful mom who greatly appreciates your efforts!

If you are tired of reading stories about children, then log off.  This is another one.  Sorry, but they are pretty much my life--actually I don't apologize as that is who I am!  My children really needed a lesson in thankfulness and giving.  Although I wouldn't say I spoil my children, they really do not want for much.  If they need new shoes, they get them.  A new Christmas outfit (even though last year's dress still fits great), sure!  My children do chores, get allowance, save money to buy things they want that are "above and beyond" what I would classify as a "need".  But this holiday season I could see the green eyes of jealousy and greed peering at me from both of my little cherubs.  I needed a quick reality check for them.  So, to start, I decided that we would dedicate ourselves to the red Salvation Army kettles.  We would not pass one up without putting in a little bit of money.  It has been great.  We all walk around with change jingling in our pockets just waiting to hear the infamous bells ringing.  Such a simple thing, but the start of a lesson.

The bigger lesson has come through a family in need.  Many children and a mom who courageously fled a violent home.  A seemingly hopeless situation, but enter a bunch of angels to really help them out.  I was one of the lucky ones who got to shop for a child.  I took my own daughter along to help.  She shopped for things with the eye of a bargain hunter ( and did her mom proud).  Seven presents were in the cart and we were at our limit.  My little girl's gears were clicking, I could see it.  She asked "mom, these sweatsuits are on sale, if I give you my money from vaccuuming this week can I pick out one more set for her?"  I think my breath caught in my throat.  I know my eyes were full of tears.  "Yes, my dear, I think that would be great".  Those green eyes of greed were gone.  My daughter wrapped every present with love and placed bows on each and every package.  Isn't it funny that when you set out to help someone else you almost always end up being helped more by THEM in return?  This family will never know the gift that they gave to my family.  But I am thankful all the same.

Let me preface this blog by saying that as an educator for many years I was quick to make a judgment on parents who allowed their children to come to school without boots, warm coats, and other proper winter attire.  I would often wonder "how could they allow their poor child to leave the house this way?".  Shame, shame. Well, call me humbled.

As I prepared to leave the house this morning I was looking for my own warm winter gear and just on a whim I took an inventory of my daughter's winter coats--still hanging in the closet.  I was in the shower when my 11 year old daughter hollered good bye and headed to the bus stop.  Never thinking for a moment to ask her what she was wearing.  You try very hard to not make clothing choices for 11 year olds for the most part.  Pick your battles, I tell myself (over and over).  So, back to me, staring in disbelief at not one but ALL of her winter coats.  Pink one, blue one, dress coat, ski vest.  All there, hanging in the closet.  Just for kicks I count my coats (yeah, right, like my 11 year old would ever wear her dinosaur mom's coats--ewww).  Nope, not mine either.

My daughter went to the bus stop in a sweatshirt.  She had to have.  I can't see another answer.  A sweatshirt on an 11 degree winter morning.  I am nearly out of mind with shock and horror.  I want to call her guidance counselor and have her run an intervention on my daughter regarding her lack of judgment.  But, I think better of it.  She will learn a hard lesson today.  I pray she doesn't get sick.  I also have learned a hard lesson.  Dare ye who judge, lest you be judged.  Yep, I have become THAT mom.  Sometimes good moms have kids who wear sweatshirts to school--and they don't even know it.  So, cut us all some slack. 

My family enjoyed a relaxing Thanksgiving in Door County.  This has now become a tradition (2 years makes a tradition, right?) for the family and we all enjoy it so much.  We rent a condo and make our meal in our jammies while the kids swim and enjoy the company of cousins.  While I only missed the Black Friday chaos a bit, we did do some shopping of our own at the many little stores you can find in each quaint town of the DC area.  My husband and I decided to invest in a beautiful new nativity.  We do have two others--one from my mom from back in her "ceramic" days.  It has great sentimental value, but the blueish glaze of each of the lifeless pieces has been retired to the rec room decorations (don't tell mom).  So, we found a beautiful one and it was 50% off as well!  A Black Friday sale, even away from the chaos, I love it!  We get our carefully wrapped purchase home. The kids and I unwrap each piece to place it on the place of honor...our front foyer table.  With each piece we ooohhhh and aaahhhhh and place them within their scene.  Finally, we are down to the final piece to unwrap, very fitting, as the piece we still need is baby Jesus.  We unwrap him carefully but then stare and it and each other with a look of confusion and panic.  There in my hands is a CHICAGO BEARS CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT!!  And not just any ornament, but a jingle bell, flashing light, UGLY ornament!  My little son almost loses his mind.  "Ewwww, it's a Bears ornament, throw it away!"  I can't believe my eyes.  I laugh at the irony of it all.  And then I can't stop laughing!  To the point that my children now find me to be a bit on the crazy side (nothing new there).  I am laughing because I can only imagine the look on the face of the Bears fan who ended up with MY baby Jesus in its place.  It is all too funny for words.

I called the shop.  Of course, it was the LAST nativity of that kind.  They are so sorry for the mix up.  They are sending a full refund.  So, here I sit. A Catholic school principal and a woman deeply rooted in my Catholic faith and I have...no Jesus.  Luckily I have all of Advent to search for Jesus.  Certainly, whether he comes in the form of a baby for my nativity, I do know that he will come!  In the meantime, does anyone have a small baby Jesus they could share? 

4th grade homework is hard.  That is what I learned on my day "off" as principal while Deryck Burczyk took over for me.  Everyone got to dress crazy, as decided by Principal  Burczyk.  You should have seen our school!  Spongebob boxer shorts, pink hair, cowboys, princesses...we were quite a sight.  A mom wanted to come and tour the school--I said "perhaps another day might be better?"  Luckily she understood.  Whew, crisis averted. 

Next was bubblegum bingo.  The whole school was allowed to chew gum and play bingo over the PA.  Meanwhile, I did some math and Spanish and tried my best not to look like I didn't understand 4th grade work.  (I only had to ask the teacher one question to make sure I was on the right track...that is pretty good!)  Principal Burcyzk did a fantastic job for the day, but I think we were both pretty eager to be back in our "original" roles at school by the end of the day. 

As I walked out of school that day, with my pink hair and tiara on my head (it was crazy day, remember?) I thought to myself:  THESE are the things that kids will remember.  The special memories we make with them.  And it can happen each and every day--not just for special treats. As a parent and educator I hope that each day brings a memory and a lesson that will remain, long after the school day is over.

Shhhhh...

I am hiding.  I am an overworked, overwhelmed mother and principal/pastoral associate who just needed a break from my insane world.  Do you know where I am hiding?  In the only room in my home that has a lock on the door.  That's right, you guessed it!  I am taking a mommy time out in the bathroom.  Curiosity slowly gets the best of me as I try to figure out what a mom could do (besides the obvious) in this little hideaway.  I place a Scooby Doo band aid on the fresh blister on my heel.  I brush my teeth for the fully allotted 2 minutes that the dentist recommends (that's a long time, did you know that?).  I pluck my eyebrows and clean my ears.  I consolidate 5 nearly empty bottles of shampoo into one.  And I even place the toliet paper back on the roller (don't get me started on that one or I will need another time out). 

I count to ten and count my blessings--the two blessings I get to call my own, and the 261 that are not my own, but whom I am entrusted with for five days a week.  I emerge from my restroom retreat a calm, well-groomed mommy with minty fresh breath.  I am ready to take on the world.  Or at least my little part of the world.  The next time you are searching for a moment of peace, you might want to give this suggestion a try.  Or at least don't knock it until you've tried it! 

(Stay tuned for a wide variety of topics on my blog--from education to spirituality and all the places in between!)